When I Stopped Chasing, Life Started Giving
7 hours ago
Every Moment Matters
March 22, 2022
Seems like lesser people read blog these days. Maybe I should redivert my thought instead of mainstream medium to blogging. It feels like yesterday when it was during my undergraduate phase to be exact, blog is like an open diary. Though it is not really a personal diary but sharing my life and experience here feels good, to meet friends with the same interest of writing is awesome too. But I think now people write more on Facebook, Instagram as more audience (?) maybe.
My blogging journey incredibly reduced during housemanship and even less after I became a medical officer. Blame the hectic working life, honestly. But I did tried to find some free times to write few informal articles or maybe just sharing about medicine and health. I posted on Facebook instead for people to read and gain something (hopefully).
Life has been a roller coaster since then.
I was in various places within 2years of my MOship, somehow I don't regret it despite occasionally I felt tired and annoyed of doing it (I meant, transferring workplace).
Emergency and Trauma
Paeds General
Surgical Oncology
Paeds General (again)
Paeds Covid
Paeds General (also again - back to so called base)
Paeds Endocrine
How can I adapt in totally different working environments, saving lives some more?
Surprisingly, I survived. Alhamdulillah.
There was one point, I lost passion. I did not even understand what were I doing. Being transferred here and there as in I was an invaluable ball. I woke up few times in the middle of night despite it was not my oncall night, unable to return back to sleep. Waking up, I felt heavy, can I survive working today? I was totally not looking forward for another day in the hospital. My sleeping pattern became terrible.
There.
Till one day, I don't feel totally good with myself. I got sick easily. I skipped meals. I performed my prayers late.
Colleagues, most are awesome and a few are not. Betrayal, talking behind your back, query about your medical leaves (when I was actually survived my housemanship without a single emergency leave / medical certificate). People always say 'remember the Hippocratic Oath' the so called infamous 'Do no harm.' oh yea, I agree, my ultimate goal in my career is always to be a safe doctor. I believe most doctors have this vision.
But, if doing so affected my own health so much, I finally know something is not right. I want to contribute to the community but maybe this is not the place.
That's it. I finally made my decision. To explore the rest of medical fields that may offer any opportunities to grow and learn so that I can still practice as a certified medical officer with a more work-life balance.
I can say I am healthier and happier.
The journey is still long, surely going to be windy. I pray Allah will always lead me through it.
I believe Allah's rizq is everywhere and insyAllah there will be something for me, ameen.
Pray for me. :)
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